I have a love/hate relationship with long distance relationships.

Until my last relationship, I had never really been in a long distance relationship.  I mean sure, I've had boyfriends that were a few cities over...but it's always been no further than maybe an hour. Anyone who's ever been in a LDR knows how much they tend to suck...but also how exciting/rewarding they can be. My last relationship didn't start off as a LDR. A few months into it, it became one. My ex boyfriend joined the army and moved ten hours away from me. I always told myself that it was easily doable because we didn't start off as a LDR. Major props to anyone who started their whole relationship off as a LDR because it is HARD. Well now I am in a relationship that has started off as long distance. Thankfully it's not ten hours like my last one, but it's still a major headache. 

Cons: 

• Long distance relationships are EXPENSIVE. You're working your butt off pretty much to spend the money you've made from your job on gas to go visit your significant other. It's worth it, you say...and heck, maybe it is. But I don't care who you are, making money and then burning it up on gas isn't fun. Exciting because you get to see your significant other, but no one looks forward to spending the money they worked hard for on gas. For example, two weeks before my boyfriend even got his last paycheck, he knew what it was going towards...gas to come see me. Which is sweet. But inconvenient. I feel like a nuisance sometimes because he spends so much, and he always says "Money is meant to be spent." True. But I'd like to be able to see you annnnd buy those cute brown boots at Nordies. 

• I like having access to love and affection anytime I want/need it...which is ALL THE TIME. I don't want to have to say "I miss you." and get the response "Two more weeks, baby." But hey, it is what it is. I'm just saying I'd like to be able to be like "I miss you." and get a "I'm on my way with Taco Bell, get Netflix ready."

• I'm a sucker for being taken care of when I'm sick. There's nothing better than cuddling up to my man when I have all kinds of aches and pains and him just loving on me and babying me, massaging me, and giving me kisses on kisses on kisses. 

• I feel like everywhere I go, I see couples. One couple, two couple, red couple, blue couple. COUPLES GALORE. And what does that make me do? Miss my significant other...and it turns me into a bitter grump, grimacing at all the young couples commiting the unruly crime of public display of affection...knowing good and well that I'd be doing the same thing if I wasn't alone. Seems mean, I know. But sometimes it's more fun seeing people with their other half when I'm not missing mine like cray cray. But I digress, I don't want to be a bitter Betty. This is only sometimes.

• Feeling left out of the group. "Haha Wade just did the funniest thing. Well you just had to be there." WELL I WASNT SO EXPLAIN TO ME IN GREAT DETAIL WHAT HE DID. HOW FUNNY WAS IT ON A SCALE FROM 1-10? MAKE HIM DO IT AGAIN AND RECORD IT SO I CAN SEE. ALSO EXPLAIN TO ME IN GREAT DETAIL WHAT YOU HAD FOR LUNCH. Okay so maybe I'm not like that at all, but no one likes hearing "You had to be there." ...especially when absolutely nothing sounds better than being there.

• My all time favorite...Britney is complaining on Facebook about how her boyfriend is out of town for a family reunion. He'll only be gone for two days, but that's two days she has to go without blowing up everyone's Instagram with pictures of them eating each other's face off like the zombie apocalypse is happening. LISTEN HERE BRITNEY, ITS JUST TWO DAYS. GET A HOBBY. MAYBE START WORKING ON A DEGREE IN ARCHITECTURE SO YOU CAN BUILD A BRIDGE AND GET OVER IT. Anyways, being in a LDR makes you want to roundhouse kick anyone who complains about not being able to see their significant other for a few days. 

• I realize all of these cons make me sound insanely selfish and bitter. Honestly, those are just two more cons. Long distance makes me selfish. I forget about everyone else when my boyfriend visits. I made plans with a friend Sunday night and Monday...but cancelled because my boyfriend ended up staying another night and I stayed with him. So I always have to deal with friends getting mad for me "putting them on the back burner" or calling me selfish. If I don't get to see my significant other often, I'm going to take every opportunity to see him that comes at me. I don't care if you're Oprah. I'm still going to want to spend time with my man. 

Okay, now I will stop being a negative Nancy and start listing PROS!

Pros:

• There's that quote from Robin Hood..."Distance makes the heart grow fonder" and boy is that true. There's also "The longer the wait, the sweeter the kiss." Also true. In my opinion, distance can be a really good thing. Missing each other (in a healthy way) can be a really good thing. I'm not saying feeling lonely is good. Not by any means. I say "in a healthy way" because the loneliness my ex felt when we were away from each other was the furthest thing from heathy. For example, he tried to fill the hole...he just wanted to be physical too much, I suppose. Or he needed more attention. Honestly, I'm not sure what motivated him to make dating websites WHILE we were dating, go out to bars/clubs and grind on other girls, text all kinds of girls, or watch porn. Long distance isn't for the unfaithful. Simple as that. 

• Planning. I've realized how much more fun it is to plan and dream together when you're not together every day. You get that dose of clarity and an idea of what you want out of your relationship. If you're like me, you're always thinking of a future with your significant other...well, if you can SEE a future with them. (I don't see the point in dating if you can't see yourself marrying that person.) I'll be grocery shopping and I'll daydream about being married and grocery shopping together, or at home watching Netflix and imagining him here with me in our own home all cozied up together and eyeballs deep in some show on Netflix. Saying things like "When I move there, we're.......blah blah blah." Talking about a future together just feels so good when you're not together all the time.

• It feels good to know that someone thinks you're worth all the trouble of long distance. What's the point of being with someone you can't see all the time if you don't intend on reaching a point in life where you kick distance out of the way and settle down together. Really I feel amazing that my boyfriend thinks "This girl is so amazing that I don't even have to be with her right now because I know it's only a matter of time until this distance goes away and I'm rolling over and kissing her good morning." It simply feels good to be worth the distance.

• Surprises. I'm already working on a trip to where he lives, unexpectedly. And I love that--scheming for the benefit of making him happy. Surprising someone you see every day isn't as special I guess as surprising someone who isn't expecting to see you for at least a few more weeks. I can't stop thinking about seeing his face light up when he sees me and being pulled into the biggest hug ever. 

• Goodbyes are bittersweet. You're kissing and it just feels so good that you don't want to stop, but you know the sooner you say goodbye...the sooner you can start planning getting together again. I mean, goodbyes suck...but they're more like see you laters.

• You always have something to look forward to. You appreciate each other more when the time you have together is limited. Every kiss is sweeter, and every hug is tighter. Up until the very last one.

• I really do believe that if distance is done right, it can make your relationship stronger. That's only if you're in the right relationship, though. That's just my opinion.

Like I stated previously, long distance relationships aren't for everyone. But it takes a special couple to be able to overcome distance and build a happy life together. And think of the stories you'll get to tell your children...how you two made it work only seeing each other every so often, how much trust and love you two had for each other, and how totally worth all the tears and missing each other was. If you both truly want it to work, it will. But it has to be both of you 100%