Have you ever had a birthday where someone put trick candles on your birthday cake? You blew it out and suddenly the flame is back? You laugh at first and say "Ha ha guys, verrrrry funny." and proceed to blow it out. It's great at first because you didn't expect that tiny little flame to come back and it's exciting...but after so may times of blowing it out, you get annoyed with it coming back. You blow and think "Alright that was the last time I'm blowing out that stupid flame!" and what do ya know, there it is again.
That's kind if how my life is, right now. Those of you that have followed me long enough know that my account used to be "IT couple" and I tweeted lovey dovey crap about my boyfriend all day. Obviously one day we broke up...but he's my trick candle...my flame that keeps coming back.
The first time we broke up, I refused to talk about it because I didn't want people to judge him harshly. As time passed, I began to use my twitter as a way to pretty much vent about him and get high fives every time I rejected him. That's how you all know me as now, that sassy girl who's ex boyfriend can't get over her.
Let me get something straight here right now...I may talk a lot of crap and put on a face that looks tough but my ex boyfriend is my kryptonite. (I think it's his eyes. He has nice eyes.) But every time I think I'm getting over him, something happens. Something like...a new season of that show we used to watch got added on Netflix and he had to email me to let me know and I watched it and the whole time wanted to text him and say "OH MY GOSH EPISODE SIX IS FIFTY SHADES OF CRAY!" or I'll be in the car and an old country song he used to sing would come on and my head would spin imagining me laughing at him from the passenger side. I think about him all the time and when I'm not thinking about him, I'm only thinking of someone else in hopes of forgetting him.
I've met some pretty amazing guys but I've always found something wrong with each one. And I've come to learn that they all have one flaw in common.........they're not him.
Recently I became a trick candle just like him. I don't know what came over me...most of you know he's always the one to come to me...but I went to him and I gave into him. And the way he has treated me has been phenomenal so far. And while it's scary that I'm slowly letting him back in my life, I have to admit that I am excited for whatever is to come. I'm excited to have my best friend back. And a very big part of me hopes that it is for good, this time.
I don't want to be judged. I know I may be being foolish...but I'm one happy foolish girl and I can handle whatever life throws at me so long as he's holding my hand.
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