To anyone struggling with getting over someone.

Get over him. He's not even worth it. He is not worth your time or your tears. Yeah you loved him, I know that. And I know you just can't see yourself with anyone other than him, I get that. I've been there.  But why should you spend all your time sitting at home, bawling your eyes out, wondering where he is and who he's with. Do you honestly think he is thinking about you? No. Sure, it hurts knowing that he is out there falling in and out of love with other girls. I know it used to hurt me seeing him talking to girls and just having sex with everyone. Yeah, you're gonna see him with one of his new girlfriends. Prepare yourself because straight up, it's gonna hurt. He will hold her a little closer and squeeze her hand a little tighter just because he knows you're watching. He knows it' killing you, that's why he will do it. Don't let him get to you because that, well that's exactly what he wants. He doesn't even deserve it. So what if he doesn't even want to talk to you. Do you really want to be friends with a jerk like that, anyways? Thing is, I know you still do. But give it time. Because all he would do is talk about his new girlfriend and try to make you jealous. Do you really wanna hear that? No. Screw him and his girlfriend. He will be sorry. Trust me. When he finally sees you with some other guy that's not him. With that huge grin on your face and your boyfriend holding you close, he will see how happy you are. And he will see how happy your boyfriend is because he has you: the girl of his dreams. He will realize the huge mistake he made when he let you go, when he decided to choose her over you. When he decided that he just did not love you the same. Trust me, he will be sorry. So don't go your nights waiting for that one phone call you know you're not going to get. Or that text he will never send you simply because he likes to ignore you. He likes to pretend that he does not see you online, he does it out of spite just because he knows its killing you. Look at how he's treated you. You really think it'll be hard finding someone who treats you better than someone who treats you the worst? Now that's a joke. Keep your head else high, don't be bitter, just know there are better things right around the corner. You just have to stop going after someone who's simply not worth it anymore.

Just an FYI.

He came to Florida this weekend right...and this weekend he confessed to me that he has had sex with three girls. (Finally confessed. He had been lying. I had to force him to tell me...) Which was fine I guess because we weren't dating. But I got drunk and turned into a crazy girlfriend (even though I'm not a girlfriend) and I went through his phone and blocked every girl he's been flirting with/had sex with. (Thank you iOS7 for having my back.) Well sober me felt really guilty so the next morning I told him what I did and it hurt my feelings that he unblocked them all. :( And when I said I didn't want him talking to this girl named Anna, he DEFENDED her by saying she's a "good friend" and I'm sorry, but I do not let my "good friends" put their penis inside me. So he went through my phone the next day and blocked people and didn't even tell me about it. I found out myself but kept them blocked because I wanted to show him that I wanted to commit again. And then yesterday he confessed he blocked people. And I told him I wanted to keep talking/trying and just as he was walking out if the door, ANNA CALLS HIM. And I turned into a REALLY crazy girlfriend. Like "Let me answer your phone." and he DIDNT. The right thing to do would've been for him to answer and say "Hey, I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I'm spoken for. Blah blah blah." right there in front of me so I know I have nothing to worry about and then proceed to block her but I feel like he picked her over me because I told him we couldn't both be in his life yet they're still talking. So yeah, there's that. I was like bump that noise. I'm just feeling really dumb for holding into someone who keeps hurting me over and over again. I'm tired of giving someone another chance just to be reminded why the first 829591 didn't work out. I'm sick of believing the "I love you's" and all those sweet words that are never actually backed up with actions. 

Trick candles: Trying things with my ex, again.

Have you ever had a birthday where someone put trick candles on your birthday cake? You blew it out and suddenly the flame is back? You laugh at first and say "Ha ha guys, verrrrry funny." and proceed to blow it out. It's great at first because you didn't expect that tiny little flame to come back and it's exciting...but after so may times of blowing it out, you get annoyed with it coming back. You blow and think "Alright that was the last time I'm blowing out that stupid flame!" and what do ya know, there it is again.

That's kind if how my life is, right now. Those of you that have followed me long enough know that my account used to be "IT couple" and I tweeted lovey dovey crap about my boyfriend all day. Obviously one day we broke up...but he's my trick candle...my flame that keeps coming back. 

The first time we broke up, I refused to talk about it because I didn't want people to judge him harshly. As time passed, I began to use my twitter as a way to pretty much vent about him and get high fives every time I rejected him. That's how you all know me as now, that sassy girl who's ex boyfriend can't get over her.

Let me get something straight here right now...I may talk a lot of crap and put on a face that looks tough but my ex boyfriend is my kryptonite. (I think it's his eyes. He has nice eyes.) But every time I think I'm getting over him, something happens. Something like...a new season of that show we used to watch got added on Netflix and he had to email me to let me know and I watched it and the whole time wanted to text him and say "OH MY GOSH EPISODE SIX IS FIFTY SHADES OF CRAY!" or I'll be in the car and an old country song he used to sing would come on and my head would spin imagining me laughing at him from the passenger side. I think about him all the time and when I'm not thinking about him, I'm only thinking of someone else in hopes of forgetting him. 

I've met some pretty amazing guys but I've always found something wrong with each one. And I've come to learn that they all have one flaw in common.........they're not him. 

Recently I became a trick candle just like him. I don't know what came over me...most of you know he's always the one to come to me...but I went to him and I gave into him. And the way he has treated me has been phenomenal so far. And while it's scary that I'm slowly letting him back in my life, I have to admit that I am excited for whatever is to come. I'm excited to have my best friend back. And a very big part of me hopes that it is for good, this time.

I don't want to be judged. I know I may be being foolish...but I'm one happy foolish girl and I can handle whatever life throws at me so long as he's holding my hand.